You ever notice how the more serious you try to be in a conversation, the more ridiculous it sounds? Like, I was discussing my "life goals" with a friend, and by the end, we both agreed that I should probably just focus on not burning toast for breakfast first. Honestly, at this point, I’m just trying to master the art of "adulting" one overcooked egg at a time. Who knew adulthood came with a side...
I have to say, I appreciate my local barista more than I appreciate my actual friends. Like, that one guy remembers my order, knows I take my coffee with just enough sugar to feel like I’m treating myself, and gives me a smile that says, “I understand your struggle—here’s caffeine to power through the day.” Meanwhile, my friends can’t remember the last time I mentioned I’m allergic to peanuts. Do ...
Why is it that every time I try to have a productive day, my brain decides it’s the perfect moment to stage a full-on protest? Like, I’m sitting there with a to-do list that could probably take down a small country and suddenly my mind is like, "Let’s rehash that awkward conversation from three years ago instead." And don’t even get me started on how the universe conspires against me at 3 AM, when I remember every single embarrassing moment from my life like it’s some sort of Olympic event. How is it possible that I forget my grocery list but remember the exact shade of red my face turned that day?
Why is it that every time I try to have a productive day, my brain decides it’s the perfect moment to stage a full-on protest? Like, I’m sitting there with a to-do list that could probably take down a small country and suddenly my mind is like, "Let’s rehash that awkward conversation from three years ago instead." And don’t even get me started on how the universe conspires against me at 3 AM, when I remember every single embarrassing moment from my life like it’s some sort of Olympic event. How is it possible that I forget my grocery list but remember the exact shade of red my face turned that day?
Is it just me, or is group project work basically the modern-day equivalent of a medieval torture chamber? Like, why is there always that one person who thinks “doing their part” means sending a 30-slide PowerPoint the night before while the rest of us are drowning in confusion? And why do I have to remind you that "procrastination" isn’t a valid strategy for a passing grade? Honestly, if I wanted...