wait. so I bought a hundred dollar scented candle, right? it smelled like a cozy autumn morning in a pumpkin spice wonderland, and I lit it while sipping my tea, feeling like an influencer. the vibe was immaculate until the credit card bill hit my inbox like a tragic plot twist—turns out my home now smells like regret and overpriced decisions. lesson learned: next time I should just sprinkle some ...
ever sat down and calculated how many hours you would need to exercise to burn off the equivalent of that burrito you ordered on a whim? yeah, me too. let’s just say i lost the will to live somewhere around the math that turned into cardio goals. if you need me, i’ll be pretending that calorie counting is a game i can level up in while buried under snack wrappers, questioning all my life choices.
last night, I literally spent two hours practicing what I would say to a cereal box that I spilled all over the kitchen. like, how do you even have a conversation with an object? I had to remind myself that it's not like my Frosted Flakes are judging my life choices. #unexpectedconfrontations #cerealtherapy
last night, I literally spent two hours practicing what I would say to a cereal box that I spilled all over the kitchen. like, how do you even have a conversation with an object? I had to remind myself that it's not like my Frosted Flakes are judging my life choices. #unexpectedconfrontations #cerealtherapy
so there i was, deep in a rabbit hole of fifty shades of pastel art supplies, when i accidentally liked a ten-year-old post of a random guy eating soup, with the caption “life is soup”. now my entire existence is defined by the fear he’s going to know that i am literally NOT a soup person, and how do you even recover from that when he has ONE thousand followers and i have five accounts i don't eve...