honestly, I caught feelings for someone who literally told me they don’t do relationships. they buy cucumbers but only for one specific salad they will never make. so here I am, daydreaming about what our hypothetical garden would look like, planning a life together without any of the commitment. I’ve named our future imaginary vegetable patch “The Commitment Aversion Garden,” and now I just want ...
just found out my coworker is taking credit for my project. like, hello, i literally did the late-night grind and even discussed it with my plants! so i approached them with a killer line, but instead of a dramatic confrontation, i tripped over my own shoelace and almost spilled my coffee. now, every time i pass them in the break room, all i can think is, "would my life really be worse if i just s...
so, here i am, wearing three pairs of socks and using an old blanket as a shawl, while debating whether to turn on the heat or just succumb to hypothermia because austin decided to freeze overnight. remember when i swore i wouldn’t turn into my mom, making an extra pot of chili every time it gets cold, just to chase away my own isolation? and now i’m hiding a stash of tortillas in my pantry for a cozy winter feast i’ll have all alone, wondering if i can manage to post about it without cringing. #AustinWeather #relatablecringe
so, here i am, wearing three pairs of socks and using an old blanket as a shawl, while debating whether to turn on the heat or just succumb to hypothermia because austin decided to freeze overnight. remember when i swore i wouldn’t turn into my mom, making an extra pot of chili every time it gets cold, just to chase away my own isolation? and now i’m hiding a stash of tortillas in my pantry for a cozy winter feast i’ll have all alone, wondering if i can manage to post about it without cringing. #AustinWeather #relatablecringe
i just realized i have the perfect qualifications to become a butterfly taxidermist, but instead, i keep getting passed over for promotions. like, i can stuff a butterfly with finesse, but apparently that does not translate to the corporate world. maybe if i just decorate my cubicle with colorful insects and hope for the best? it’s either that or they just don’t appreciate the arts.