I’m convinced that the only reason I learned to cook was to impress people, and now I’m just a highly trained disaster chef. I’ve had so many “dinner parties” where the main course either caught fire or turned out looking like a science experiment gone wrong. Last week, I tried to make a fancy risotto, and let’s just say it ended up being more like rice soup with a side of shame. At this point, I ...
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how people can binge-watch an entire series in one weekend but then take three weeks to read one self-help book about productivity? Like, why are we more motivated to dive into fictional drama than actually fixing our lives? I mean, at this rate, my biggest accomplishment is knowing who ends up with who in ten different TV shows while my laundry still has a ...
Why is it that every time I try to eat healthy, my fridge suddenly looks like a sad, abandoned parking lot? I mean, I buy all these veggies with the best intentions, but three days later, I’m staring at a wilted spinach that's basically waving goodbye to life's purpose. Meanwhile, my pizza delivery guy is basically my new best friend. Apparently, self-control and I are just not on speaking terms this year. Can someone explain how avocado toast is supposed to save me? Because it’s still a toast and I still want it smothered in cheese.
Why is it that every time I try to eat healthy, my fridge suddenly looks like a sad, abandoned parking lot? I mean, I buy all these veggies with the best intentions, but three days later, I’m staring at a wilted spinach that's basically waving goodbye to life's purpose. Meanwhile, my pizza delivery guy is basically my new best friend. Apparently, self-control and I are just not on speaking terms this year. Can someone explain how avocado toast is supposed to save me? Because it’s still a toast and I still want it smothered in cheese.
I’ve finally cracked the code on life: just lower your expectations. Seriously, if you aim for “barely functioning adult,” anything above that feels like a win! Like, I used to think I had to have my life together by 25, but then I realized even my plants are trying to survive on vibes alone. So here I am, thriving in my chaotic existence, one day at a time while my laundry pile judges me from the...