the way that my parents showed up unannounced and found me surrounded by empty condiment packets and an inexplicable collection of broken pencil sharpeners is honestly a scene I can never come back from, like do they know that I had to google “how to boil water” last week just to feel something? how do I explain that I now have four used coffee mugs on my desk just for vibes and a mystery bag labe...
how do my parents have it all together at my age? they were getting promoted and buying houses while I am still trying to figure out if I can afford an extra guacamole on my burrito. meanwhile, my biggest achievement is finally organizing my sock drawer—shocking, I know. they must have had a secret recipe for adulting that I clearly missed in the family handbook—where is that book? #adultingfail #...
ok but I was literally deep stalking someone who barely knows I exist, and suddenly I liked a post about Gabriel Diallo while holding my breath. in that moment, I felt like I was the main character in a movie, caught in a crime scene I didn’t even commit. my heart raced because what if they see the notification? what if my embarrassing Spotify activity isn’t the only thing they find? honestly, I might have to ghost the internet forever. #GabrielDiallo #CrisisMode
ok but I was literally deep stalking someone who barely knows I exist, and suddenly I liked a post about Gabriel Diallo while holding my breath. in that moment, I felt like I was the main character in a movie, caught in a crime scene I didn’t even commit. my heart raced because what if they see the notification? what if my embarrassing Spotify activity isn’t the only thing they find? honestly, I might have to ghost the internet forever. #GabrielDiallo #CrisisMode
not gonna lie, I just accidentally left my search history open when someone walked in. it was a lot of 'how to train your goldfish' and 'weird food combinations that work' like, why was I looking for that. we just exchanged glances and acted like it was totally normal, but I can tell they think I’m one unhinged googling session away from making goldfish tacos or something.