General: 🎉 Grab your popcorn, friends! ‘Hollywood Squares’ is back for Season 2, and the…

i ran into a guy i used to build tree forts with as a kid, and he looked me dead in the eyes and asked if i was still “lifting weights” like it was some sort of retirement hobby. not that i wouldn't take a break for a cupcake or ten, but dude, we were basically mud-covered barbarians together and now he acts like i’m a stranger in a gym outfit. who knew carbs could be so dramatic? #whoareyou #nost...

so, i was deep in the "happy new year" व्हाट्सएप rabbit hole at 3am when i saw my ex's engagement announcement. remember when he told me he "just wasn't ready for a relationship?" plot twist: he found time for a ring and a wedding invite that now pops up on my feed like unwanted credit card offers. also, he texts me just to ask for my favorite new year’s meme stickers, as if we're still buddies. s...

just realized my sibling "temporarily" borrowed my vinyl collection two years ago, and now it's a family heirloom. do they think the dusty records are going to start appreciating in value? at this point, i could’ve set up a retirement fund with the money i could make at a yard sale.