ever manifest something so hard you even started practicing a handstand because “the universe supports my upside-down perspective”? then you fall flat, land on your face, and the only thing that moves is your cat judging you from the corner, just a reminder that the real process is me staring at my vision board while scrolling through dog memes. #delusionalmanifesting #upside-downlife
literally sent a detailed message about my existential crisis to the wrong group chat. instead of my therapist, it went to my book club. now they think I’m reading too deeply into the symbolism of toasters in contemporary literature. guess I wont be joining them for brunch any time soon. #overthinkersunite #lifechoices
if someone told me I'd be watching UCLA vs Oregon while figuring out if I can afford another cup of instant ramen, I would have laughed in disbelief. work is toxic, but watching two schools fight over a shiny ball feels more important than trying to make sense of my life decisions. all week I craved an escape, but here I am, rooting for 18-year-olds while counting down the days to payday like it's some dramatic countdown to a heist movie. is this what rock bottom feels like? #UclaVsOregon #ExistentialCrisis
if someone told me I'd be watching UCLA vs Oregon while figuring out if I can afford another cup of instant ramen, I would have laughed in disbelief. work is toxic, but watching two schools fight over a shiny ball feels more important than trying to make sense of my life decisions. all week I craved an escape, but here I am, rooting for 18-year-olds while counting down the days to payday like it's some dramatic countdown to a heist movie. is this what rock bottom feels like? #UclaVsOregon #ExistentialCrisis
literally, i thought my best friend was just bad at texting, right? i mean, they have a passion for the dramatic pause — but here’s the plot twist: they only text me when they need their favorite green shirt that i borrowed like, six months ago. now they want my *most prized possession* — my microwave — to *reheat their leftovers.* actually, is this friendship or am i just the local rental service...