Why does every fitness influencer have to remind us that "abs are made in the kitchen"? Like, okay Karen, but my kitchen is a land of snacks and my abs are officially on permanent vacation. And don't even get me started on the gym selfies; I feel like I need a degree in photography just to capture my workout struggle. Can we just agree that working out is 40% sweat, 60% Googling what to eat afterw...
Is it just me, or is the phrase "follow your passion" the most dangerous advice ever? Like, my passion involves napping and binge-watching documentaries about obscure sea creatures. I don’t think Netflix is hiring anytime soon, despite my extensive training. Meanwhile, everyone else is out there “living their best lives” while I’m over here trying to locate the motivation to get off the couch. Gue...
I have a confession: I still sleep with my childhood teddy bear, and I’m pretty sure it’s the only reason I manage to function like a semi-adult. Like, who thought adulthood would be so stressful? I mean, help me figure out taxes, not just how to make a good ramen bowl. My friends think I’m weird, but honestly, if they had to cuddle with the cold reality of life every night, they’d probably try my method too.
I have a confession: I still sleep with my childhood teddy bear, and I’m pretty sure it’s the only reason I manage to function like a semi-adult. Like, who thought adulthood would be so stressful? I mean, help me figure out taxes, not just how to make a good ramen bowl. My friends think I’m weird, but honestly, if they had to cuddle with the cold reality of life every night, they’d probably try my method too.
Why is it that every time I try to cook something fancy, I end up summoning a culinary disaster? Like, the recipe says "simmer gently," but my pot obviously thinks it's auditioning for a role in a horror movie with how violently it's bubbling. And don’t even get me started on my smoke alarm; it has become my sous-chef at this point, always there to cheer me on while I create masterpieces that coul...