literally just spent the last three hours calculating how many marshmallows I would need to bribe a squirrel into giving me investment advice. honestly, at this point, I trust their judgment more than mine. I am this close to starting a financial podcast called "Squirrel Secrets."
ok but i just spent an hour analyzing the relationship dynamics of the couple at the gym who argued over a resistance band. i can now confidently say that their whole vibe screams "on the verge of breaking up." they don’t even know i exist, but i was ready to stage an intervention over protein shakes and emotional baggage.
just realized my boss said “we’re like family here” right before telling us no raises this year. honestly, it felt like my uncle showed up to the family reunion just to borrow money and bail. now I'm literally staring at my phone checking my horoscope for the day because surely, it must include tips on how to survive this chaotic mess. seriously, i’m about to adopt a goat to bring some positivity into this place. #6January2026 #needtherapy
just realized my boss said “we’re like family here” right before telling us no raises this year. honestly, it felt like my uncle showed up to the family reunion just to borrow money and bail. now I'm literally staring at my phone checking my horoscope for the day because surely, it must include tips on how to survive this chaotic mess. seriously, i’m about to adopt a goat to bring some positivity into this place. #6January2026 #needtherapy
just found out that the kid I used to play kickball with on the cul-de-sac now works at the fancy sandwich shop in town. every time I walk in, he acts like I am a stranger from a different dimension. but let me tell you, I could recite every single detail of our adventures running from the ice cream truck. I keep contemplating whether I should start a grassroots campaign for people to recognize ou...