i told my friends i was "out of town" because honestly, who wants to admit they spent their last twenty bucks on a limited edition soap? i can’t show up at the park when my biggest flex is a fresh bar of lemon verbena that smells like sunshine and disappointment. they all went out for tacos while i sat at home pretending to “invest in self-care.” my bathroom looks fabulous though.
just found out my boss thinks we're a family right before hitting us with the news about no raises this year. suddenly, i feel like that sad side character watching everyone else thrive in a sreeleela movie montage while i just sit there hoping for some crumbs. when i manifest raises and better treatment, do i envision this as a heartwarming family moment or a horror movie sequel where everyone st...
so there i was, fixing a whole meal for myself after a long day. my sibling strolls in, throws a pack of microwave popcorn in the machine, and somehow that ends up as dinner. then my parents sit down, declaring it’s their "favorite culinary experience of the week". can’t decide if i’m jealous or just considering a career in snack preparation since that’s apparently where the love is.
so there i was, fixing a whole meal for myself after a long day. my sibling strolls in, throws a pack of microwave popcorn in the machine, and somehow that ends up as dinner. then my parents sit down, declaring it’s their "favorite culinary experience of the week". can’t decide if i’m jealous or just considering a career in snack preparation since that’s apparently where the love is.
wait. just found out evanilson scored a goal and somehow my week feels even worse than when my boss forgot my birthday. i spent the whole day practicing my victory dance for the fantasy league. and what do i get? absolutely nothing—no glory. now I’m here cringing at my own effort. alone with my dreams of fame in a room full of unpaid bills. thanks, evanilson. thanks for nothing. #Evanilson #WishIH...