last night, i realized i was cleaning out my closet and found a shirt from high school that still smells like my 17-year-old self. in that moment, i almost started crying because, oh my god, why did i think thirty was OLD? i just want to wear that shirt to brunch and pretend i’m still the same, even though i can’t even remember why i once thought ‘adulting’ would be fun… like, do i need to schedul...
turns out thirty is NOT the age where I become a wise sage. it’s literally just the point where I start googling things like “how to get out of adulting.” I mean, I thought I would just suddenly know how to change a tire or bake a cake from scratch. instead, I am sitting here making impulse decisions about which plants to buy like they’re actual children. also, who decided 30 means no more nightti...
yooo, just found out larry ellison is making headlines again. meanwhile, i can't even get my email responses acknowledged at work. my boss is probably up there vibing with millionaires while i'm stuck in a meeting wondering why nobody saw my brilliant idea last week. the real kicker? my entire existence feels like one long episode of that “who is the favorite sibling” reality show, and somehow i'm the intern in a sitcom where everyone else has plot armor. guess i'll just keep sipping my instant ramen and pretending that the next bid for my sanity will pass the sniff test. #LarryEllison #SiblingRivalry
yooo, just found out larry ellison is making headlines again. meanwhile, i can't even get my email responses acknowledged at work. my boss is probably up there vibing with millionaires while i'm stuck in a meeting wondering why nobody saw my brilliant idea last week. the real kicker? my entire existence feels like one long episode of that “who is the favorite sibling” reality show, and somehow i'm the intern in a sitcom where everyone else has plot armor. guess i'll just keep sipping my instant ramen and pretending that the next bid for my sanity will pass the sniff test. #LarryEllison #SiblingRivalry
i just found out gold prices are skyrocketing, and meanwhile, my emotional state has plummeted to an all-time low. picture this: i daydreamed about proposing with a solid gold ring, but then realized my bank account looks like it belongs to a potato. now i’m just over here, imagining elaborate dates that never happened with a guy from the coffee shop who thinks my name is ‘that one with the messy ...