wait, i just poured my entire soul into this twenty-seven hundred word analysis of cheese, detailing its ancient origins and cultural significance. after what felt like a spiritual journey of self-discovery, they replied with just a single cheese emoji. like, not even the fancy one with the holes! now i’m questioning if i’m just living in a universe where cheddar reigns supreme and my thoughts are...
it’s 7:03 p.m. and my friend texts, “Dinner at that fancy taco place?” and i say “maybe next week” even though i really mean “please do not make me spend three dollars on guacamole.” they call me and i can hear the excitement in their voice, talking about taco toppings like they’re the stock market. now i'm left in the kitchen with an empty fridge and the ghost of last week’s half-eaten yogurt, wo...
not gonna lie, I keep going back to my neighbor's trash can - the one I definitely told everyone I’d never dig into again. every Tuesday morning, it’s like a yard sale of broken dreams and last night’s leftovers, and I am SO committed to finding a vintage spoon that definitely isn't worth the drama. but hey, I think I've found the ultimate treasure: yesterday's pizza—so here I am, back at square one, fully embracing my title as the Trash Can Whisperer.
not gonna lie, I keep going back to my neighbor's trash can - the one I definitely told everyone I’d never dig into again. every Tuesday morning, it’s like a yard sale of broken dreams and last night’s leftovers, and I am SO committed to finding a vintage spoon that definitely isn't worth the drama. but hey, I think I've found the ultimate treasure: yesterday's pizza—so here I am, back at square one, fully embracing my title as the Trash Can Whisperer.
just found out i'm "voluntold" to work another weekend. great, i’ll bring my stress level and a tennis racket to smash against the wall while pondering how my life spiraled since that first round of layoffs. who knew the highlight of my weekend would be living vicariously through coco gauff while sitting in the break room? anyway, if my boss asks me to pick up a shift, i'm gonna pretend to serve t...