Why does every art piece suddenly feel like an expensive therapy session? Like, I legitimately need a financial advisor after stepping into any gallery. And don’t even get me started on those “interpretation” sessions—my five-year-old could doodle a stick figure and some pretentious hipster would call it "a profound exploration of existential dread." Meanwhile, I'm just wondering if they have a gi...
I always thought I’d be a morning person, you know? So, I set my alarm for 6 AM to "rise and shine". Fast forward to today, I hit snooze so hard I might as well have been training for the Olympics. I finally rolled out of bed at 11 AM, and the only thing I shined was my reflection in the cereal bowl. Can we just normalize the fact that my motivation for breakfast is basically “how fast can I get t...
I just realized my cooking skills peaked at making instant noodles. I mean, who knew that boiling water was my culinary dream? Every time I try a new recipe, I end up creating something that looks like it was featured on an episode of “Nailed It!” My friends say I'll get better with practice, but I'm starting to think my true calling is just to be a professional takeout orderer. How hard can it be to take a picture of my delivery and call it “dinner”?
I just realized my cooking skills peaked at making instant noodles. I mean, who knew that boiling water was my culinary dream? Every time I try a new recipe, I end up creating something that looks like it was featured on an episode of “Nailed It!” My friends say I'll get better with practice, but I'm starting to think my true calling is just to be a professional takeout orderer. How hard can it be to take a picture of my delivery and call it “dinner”?
I low-key still get anxious every time I see my school report card even though I'm an adult now. Like, what if my boss pulls a surprise performance review and it's just as terrifying as my parents checking my grades? Honestly, I’d take a pop quiz about my salary over that any day. And can we talk about how those "C" grades traumatized me? Here I am, still waiting for the world to find out I'm just...