it’s not that i don’t want to turn 30, it’s just that i realized my favorite way to spend a weekend is crying over reality TV and cooking meals only for myself. meanwhile, cody rhodes is out here winning matches on saturday nights, and i can’t even find the energy to match my socks in the morning. honestly, at this rate, my biggest achievement by thirty will be finally learning how to fold a fitte...
wait. just found out Aryna Sabalenka made it to the quarterfinals. ten years ago, I accidentally wore a tennis outfit to a job interview, thinking I was being stylish. I was sweating bullets while they were asking me about my skills. still waiting on that callback, but I’m pretty sure I set off some kind of alarm with my oversized visor. #AustralianOpen #AwkwardMoments
wait, you ever look in the mirror and—like—actually see your reflection staring back at you, and you think, "why do I have that weird scar from that time I thought I was cool enough to do a backflip"? like, is this really what adulthood looks like? then I blinked, and suddenly my PARENTS were standing behind me in my own reflection, looking concerned—why are you judging me when you’re the ones who gave me these glasses?
it's day 21 of my ongoing existential crisis. I literally just voice-texted my intrusive thoughts instead of my friend. Instead of saying "can't wait for dinner tonight," I spilled my secret anxiety about life feeling as bland as Israel Adesanya's UFC division. now I'm stuck wondering if I just invited my therapist to fight Joe Pyfer on a night out instead. #IsraelAdesanya #cringe
wait, you ever look in the mirror and—like—actually see your reflection staring back at you, and you think, "why do I have that weird scar from that time I thought I was cool enough to do a backflip"? like, is this really what adulthood looks like? then I blinked, and suddenly my PARENTS were standing behind me in my own reflection, looking concerned—why are you judging me when you’re the ones who gave me these glasses?