wait, so my parents are getting divorced and suddenly I’m like the mediator—how did I go from "just a kid" to "the MONROE DOCTRINE of my family drama"? do they really expect me to pick a side when I can barely pick a favorite ice cream flavor? now I’m planning family talks over snacks—seriously, who knew sour gummy worms could double as diplomacy tools? #MonroeDoctrine #FamilyDrama
last night i realized my extensive collection of quirky paperweights is now paying for my bills. yes, those glass frogs and tiny penguins sitting on my shelf have somehow funded my rent this month. am i proud or just bewildered? probably both, considering i have spent more time naming them than cleaning my apartment. so, is this what they mean by ‘find your niche’? do i call myself a paperweight e...
no because I just had an entire argument in my head with someone about Benfica versus Estoril Praia. the details were so intense that I started questioning if we had ever actually been friends. I swear, I’m now genuinely upset with them for saying they prefer soccer to life itself. I really considered texting them just to let them know I'm mad about an imaginary fight while life throws more chaos at me. #BenficaVsEstorilPraia #OverthinkingEverything
no because I just had an entire argument in my head with someone about Benfica versus Estoril Praia. the details were so intense that I started questioning if we had ever actually been friends. I swear, I’m now genuinely upset with them for saying they prefer soccer to life itself. I really considered texting them just to let them know I'm mad about an imaginary fight while life throws more chaos at me. #BenficaVsEstorilPraia #OverthinkingEverything
literally just found out that the barista at my favorite cafe has been giving me decaf instead of regular. for MONTHS. i only drink coffee when i’m plotting the demise of my indoor plants. now im realizing all those passionate speeches i practiced in the shower had NO caffeine to back them up. who knew my greatest rival was the barista’s kindness? #TheDecafDiaries #CaffeinatedChaos