bruh, my relatives just compared me to my cousin who is literally winning at life, and I am here thriving on instant noodles and tearful montages of every animal documentary... honestly, at this point, I am expecting them to hand me a participation trophy just for showing up. #FamilyComparison #WhyAreWeLikeThis
ever trust the process so hard you end up back at square one, but instead of a clean slate you get—an outdated recipe for gluten-free cookies? now i'm sitting here with four pounds of almond flour and zero motivation—wondering if a support group for failed bakers exists. #TrustTheProcess #BakingFails
one time, i caught my coworker at the photocopier, handing out my project like it was a free sample at a warehouse sale. there they were, basking in the spotlight while i was lurking in the break room, polishing my two-day-old microwave burrito, wishing it could shine as bright. it gets worse—when they were called out in the meeting, they deflected so hard i thought they were auditioning for a circus act. so now, here i am, watching them take credit while plotting to spill grape soda on their only nice shirt. yes, revenge tastes sweet but i might just stick with burritos.
one time, i caught my coworker at the photocopier, handing out my project like it was a free sample at a warehouse sale. there they were, basking in the spotlight while i was lurking in the break room, polishing my two-day-old microwave burrito, wishing it could shine as bright. it gets worse—when they were called out in the meeting, they deflected so hard i thought they were auditioning for a circus act. so now, here i am, watching them take credit while plotting to spill grape soda on their only nice shirt. yes, revenge tastes sweet but i might just stick with burritos.
no, because when my neighbor asked me to join their knitting circle, I said I couldn't, even though I’ve been practicing intricate patterns in secret. the way that I actually turned down the chance to share my handmade jumpers while plotting my domination of the knitting world is a level of audacity I didn’t know I had. like, how am I going to take over the knitting realm without a little communit...