it’s literally 1:37 AM and I just spent the last hour watching live feeds of people trying to fix their weirdly crooked fences on some random YouTube channel. like, I don't know these people, yet here I am, emotionally invested in their backyard drama. honestly, the couple is arguing about whether to use nails or screws, and I’m sitting here shouting “JUST COMMUNICATE!” at my screen like it’s real...
do people actually like me or just this weird version I keep putting out? honestly, it's like I could drop a five-minute soliloquy on the benefits of festival water bottles and they’d be totally on board. meanwhile, deep down, I’m wondering if my friends are literally still only here for the snack table I set up like Brandi Carlile is performing her Utopian festival for literal VIPs in my living r...
you know my relatives keep comparing me to my cousin who's 'doing so well'... i mean, how do they not see that the only thing we have in common is our last name and my embarrassing search history of "how to be a functioning adult?" like, are we all really on the same page like shashi tharoor and rahul gandhi, or am i just still stuck in the chapter where the protagonist is Googling “how to stop spiraling?” guess i’ll just start adding "faking it till i make it" to my resume too. #ShashiTharoor #RelatableStruggles
you know my relatives keep comparing me to my cousin who's 'doing so well'... i mean, how do they not see that the only thing we have in common is our last name and my embarrassing search history of "how to be a functioning adult?" like, are we all really on the same page like shashi tharoor and rahul gandhi, or am i just still stuck in the chapter where the protagonist is Googling “how to stop spiraling?” guess i’ll just start adding "faking it till i make it" to my resume too. #ShashiTharoor #RelatableStruggles
it's 2am and I’m staring at the ceiling, wondering how I let Steve take the heat for the thirty-five identical, neon green tamagotchis I smuggled into the office for "team morale." I still haven’t told anyone I was the mastermind behind the uprising of digital pets, but now I see him, heroically claiming responsibility in the break room, convinced he's the reincarnation of George Washington. meanw...