No because the guy sitting across from me on the bus just HAD to be an undercover agent. I mean, who else wears a beige trench coat and sunglasses in November? I watched him scribble something in a tiny notebook, and honestly, I pictured him decrypting international spy codes. Maybe he was planning a mission involving world domination—or just his lunch order? Either way, I named him Agent Lurkwort...
not gonna lie, i overheard my friends discussing whether my dance moves are a cry for help or just my style. like, are they concerned for my wellbeing or do they secretly think i should take this act on the road? now i'm imagining a documentary about my life as "that friend with questionable rhythm" and the interviewee saying “we knew she could never stop.” #dancelikeeveryoneiswatching #awkwardlyi...
day 14 of pretending i didn't see my friend post about a ‘hot new role’ while i just applied for a barista job. she claims it’s all about ‘navigating opportunities’ but the last time we spoke, she said my side hustle was just a “phase.” got the gossip train rolling, and now i'm wishing i had that "intimacy coordination" talk too, because apparently, everybody’s talking behind my back. #KiernanShipka #DramaAlert
day 14 of pretending i didn't see my friend post about a ‘hot new role’ while i just applied for a barista job. she claims it’s all about ‘navigating opportunities’ but the last time we spoke, she said my side hustle was just a “phase.” got the gossip train rolling, and now i'm wishing i had that "intimacy coordination" talk too, because apparently, everybody’s talking behind my back. #KiernanShipka #DramaAlert
so i finally confessed my feelings to the person who doesn't do relationships. they smiled and said, "that's cute," while casually mentioning their elaborate plan to join an alpaca-wrangling retreat in Peru. here i am, dreaming about us picking out matching mugs while they're off planning a life where the closest thing to romance is naming alpacas after fictional characters. at this point, should ...