wait. i just found out that everyone in my friend group picked sides like we are in some reality show. and here i am, like, why am i at the Snapdragon Stadium of friendship watching my own betrayal unfold? i literally thought i was the top draft pick, and it turns out, i’m just sitting in the audience with my nachos while everyone else is off winning trophies. the audacity of them, i might just st...
yooo, just found out that my great aunt once snuck onto a top-secret government yacht. she was hiding in the cargo hold because she thought it was a cruise. next thing you know, she accidentally became a part of an international espionage scheme, just because she wanted to "live her best life." bruh, family reunion is about to be wild. #familysecrets #whosaidthat
i just remembered how i chose to give up my dreams of becoming a professional yodeler. yeah, you heard that right, yodeling. now i am stuck at this job where i pitch ideas about packaging for noodles. noodles. and today, while watching a goat on the internet who has a better yodel than i ever could, i really have to wonder… how do i even bring that up at a dinner party? #yodelingregrets #noodleslife
i just remembered how i chose to give up my dreams of becoming a professional yodeler. yeah, you heard that right, yodeling. now i am stuck at this job where i pitch ideas about packaging for noodles. noodles. and today, while watching a goat on the internet who has a better yodel than i ever could, i really have to wonder… how do i even bring that up at a dinner party? #yodelingregrets #noodleslife
have you ever looked in the mirror and literally thought you saw your parents staring back at you, like, deep into your soul? i was just brushing my teeth, and suddenly it felt like a weird family reunion in my bathroom. there was this moment where i was like, am i about to give myself the "you could have done better" talk? but then i remembered i haven't even done my laundry in a month, so...