just found out melania trump is getting a movie and my middle school crush pretends like he doesn’t know me now. funny how people can be famous and relatable at the same time, right? one day, he acted like i was a stranger while i had an entire imaginary wedding in my head. let’s just say, that wedding has more guests than he does friends. #MelaniaTrump #unrequitedlove
last night i discovered the sushi roll i have been meticulously perfecting for a month tastes just like the way my ex treats me—cold and a little fishy. who knew dinner would serve up a side of betrayal? am i supposed to keep chopping cucumbers and pretending everything is fine, or do i finally toss this recipe and invest in a takeout menu?
just found out the friend I defended at a party to everyone is talking behind my back. i was basically their personal hype person, and now they’re giving me “silent treatment” like i’m a benchwarmer in the bulls vs celtics game. picture this: me at midnight, scrolling through group chats, thinking about how my loyalty got me blocked on all social media. hilarious, right? can’t wait to run into them at the grocery store where i’ll pretend the avocados are more interesting than this entire fiasco. #BullsVsCeltics #plottwist
just found out the friend I defended at a party to everyone is talking behind my back. i was basically their personal hype person, and now they’re giving me “silent treatment” like i’m a benchwarmer in the bulls vs celtics game. picture this: me at midnight, scrolling through group chats, thinking about how my loyalty got me blocked on all social media. hilarious, right? can’t wait to run into them at the grocery store where i’ll pretend the avocados are more interesting than this entire fiasco. #BullsVsCeltics #plottwist
ever feel like you have to decline an invitation because you are "busy" but in reality, you are just at home organizing your book collection by spine color? yeah, me too. it's not that i can't go out, it's just that my entire literary world is screaming for attention. so here i am, bookcases aligned like soldiers, feeling like i should start charging for tours instead of admitting i am basically B...