no because i just found out my sibling literally just got picked as the family’s favorite, and i’m over here eating cold pizza for dinner while they’re probably getting helicoptered off to some fancy spa—meanwhile, my biggest achievement this week was remembering to water my plants before they staged a revolt. like, who knew "winner of the day" would go to someone who still wears pajama pants in t...
I just discovered my uncle is secretly an economist, which explains why I grew up thinking budgeting was just code for never having fun—am I cursed to have a spreadsheet for every single occasion? And now with ticket prices skyrocketing, how can I expect to treat myself to overpriced entertainment when I struggle justifying dessert? Spoiler alert—my love for high-stakes financial mysteries ends up...
it's not that i don’t let people in, it’s just... i’ve watched them all leave. like South Africa just stomped on the West Indies in that cricket match—my heart breaks every time. people come into my life thinking they’ll score a win, but then they just get knocked out—like, one moment we’re having a laugh, and the next they’re gone faster than a cricket ball at the last wicket. maybe i’m the jinx—always waiting for that bowler to hit me with the reality that nobody stays. hashtag if you can relate to that #relationshipgame.
it's not that i don’t let people in, it’s just... i’ve watched them all leave. like South Africa just stomped on the West Indies in that cricket match—my heart breaks every time. people come into my life thinking they’ll score a win, but then they just get knocked out—like, one moment we’re having a laugh, and the next they’re gone faster than a cricket ball at the last wicket. maybe i’m the jinx—always waiting for that bowler to hit me with the reality that nobody stays. hashtag if you can relate to that #relationshipgame.
it's not that I think about how my life would be different if I had chosen to become a professional mime instead of whatever I’m doing now. it's just that literally every time I pass a street performer, I envision a version of me trapped in an invisible box of success, while I'm just over here, honestly narrating my life as if it's an unfunny sitcom. #whatif #unexpectedcareer