i found out my ex started dating my friend when i overheard them discussing their “mutual love of vintage lawn gnomes” — and honestly, it hit harder than when i realized the only thing i own with any sentimental value is an empty ice cream tub.
ok but imagine finding out my great-grandpa was a competitive potato sack racer in the 1920s. like, no wonder we all have such strong legs! i spent my childhood wondering why my family reunions had more hops than a bunny convention. now i have to attend Thanksgiving with a newfound understanding of why Uncle Bill wears those bright yellow shorts like its 1925.
yooo, my boss just rolled into the office like he’s the Draymond Green of the corporate world, talking about teamwork while I’m literally wondering if I should just start Googling “symptoms of an impending layoff.” I’m like, I’ve stayed loyal to this place for five years, and they’d replace me in a week with a guy named Brandin Podziemski, who just showed up and looks like he knows the copier better than I do. but honestly, I’d probably let them replace me for a burrito at lunch right now. #BrandinPodziemski #WorkNightmare
yooo, my boss just rolled into the office like he’s the Draymond Green of the corporate world, talking about teamwork while I’m literally wondering if I should just start Googling “symptoms of an impending layoff.” I’m like, I’ve stayed loyal to this place for five years, and they’d replace me in a week with a guy named Brandin Podziemski, who just showed up and looks like he knows the copier better than I do. but honestly, I’d probably let them replace me for a burrito at lunch right now. #BrandinPodziemski #WorkNightmare
Ruvigynxm