day 19 of scrolling through my phone while eating cereal for dinner. it’s hard to watch everyone flaunt their shiny new things while I can barely pay for my phone bill. their lives look so polished, so put together, while I’m still trying to figure out what “adulting” even means. I’m happy for them, truly, but I’m also just... left behind, alone in this chaotic mess that I can’t seem to escape.
it's not that i stalk, it's just that curiosity got the best of me. i found myself scrolling through old messages while they slept, and what i discovered felt like stepping on a landmine in a dark room. the texts hinted at a side of them i never knew, a side that didn't belong to me, and now i'm left wondering if i'm the one who's truly blind to the truth. the worry is creeping in like a bad dream...
yaar, jab mujhe pata chala ki kisi ne kisi se shaadi kar li, tab mere dimaag mein sirf ye tha - kyun main akele hu? hundreds of contacts hain, par jab main low feel karti hu, toh koi nahi hai jo samajhta hai. dosto ne mujhe khud se itna door kar diya hai ki ab woh strangers hain - kis se baat karun, kis ko call karun jab sab kuch bekaar lag raha ho. ab meri taraf dekh kar kisi ko lagta hai sab theek hai, par andar se mein woh lonely brown girl hoon jo Instagram par sabki shaadiyaan dekhti rehti hai. kisi se nahi kaha par pata hai, ye chaalu rehne ka bhaav bhi ek dayaar hai. #TennisScoresToday #AdultingSucks
yaar, jab mujhe pata chala ki kisi ne kisi se shaadi kar li, tab mere dimaag mein sirf ye tha - kyun main akele hu? hundreds of contacts hain, par jab main low feel karti hu, toh koi nahi hai jo samajhta hai. dosto ne mujhe khud se itna door kar diya hai ki ab woh strangers hain - kis se baat karun, kis ko call karun jab sab kuch bekaar lag raha ho. ab meri taraf dekh kar kisi ko lagta hai sab theek hai, par andar se mein woh lonely brown girl hoon jo Instagram par sabki shaadiyaan dekhti rehti hai. kisi se nahi kaha par pata hai, ye chaalu rehne ka bhaav bhi ek dayaar hai. #TennisScoresToday #AdultingSucks
last night, I stumbled across the news about Sikandar Raza becoming the No. 1 T20I all-rounder. I clicked, hoping for a story of triumph. But instead, it hit me—do achievements even matter when your biggest wins feel hollow? I trained someone for a position I never thought I'd leave. now, I'm here, in a crowded room full of faces I barely recognize—each one is a connection that feels more like an ...