my coworker swears up and down that they were "voluntold" this weekend like it was some sort of blessing. how is it that being “promoted” to weekend duty feels like getting a parking ticket while you're already out of gas? i mean, sure, i need to survive, but watching everyone else post about brunch plans makes me wonder if this is my life’s cruel joke—just me, drowning in spreadsheets while they ...
last night, i stumbled upon a video of people celebrating the Fiorentina vs Torino match. you know, that overwhelming excitement for a game that suddenly reminded me of my last date, where i ghosted someone who genuinely cared. did i really think it was easier to just disappear than to face a heart that didn't deserve it? everyone is coupling up, finding love like it’s as easy as scoring a goal, w...
just realized that i literally gave my last jar of homemade salsa to my neighbor because she promised to share her secret chili recipe. instead, i caught her slinging it at the block party like she was selling overpriced cocktails. now, instead of bonding over nachos, i’m staring into an empty fridge contemplating revenge fantasies about spicing up her casserole with cayenne and tears. should have known she was gonna use my salsa on someone else’s tortilla chips. #trustissues #salsarevenge
just realized that i literally gave my last jar of homemade salsa to my neighbor because she promised to share her secret chili recipe. instead, i caught her slinging it at the block party like she was selling overpriced cocktails. now, instead of bonding over nachos, i’m staring into an empty fridge contemplating revenge fantasies about spicing up her casserole with cayenne and tears. should have known she was gonna use my salsa on someone else’s tortilla chips. #trustissues #salsarevenge
my mom asked when i’m having kids again. literally the question nobody wants to hear when your dating life is a string of awkward first dates and ghosting. it's like being at a wedding and realizing you only wrote vows for someone you don’t even talk to anymore. meanwhile, i watch everyone couple up and i’m here contemplating if a goldfish could keep me company because at least it doesn’t ask when...