You ever notice how adulthood is just a series of “WTF am I doing?” moments strung together? Like, I swear I peaked when I was 12 and thought I’d have it all figured out by now. Instead, I’m here Googling if microwave popcorn counts as a balanced meal. Also, can someone explain to me why “treat yo’ self” always comes with a side of guilt? Honestly, I’d trade all my fancy plans for a single day of ...
You ever notice how ‘adulting’ is basically just Googling how to do things you should've learned as a kid? Like, when did I become the person who spends an hour watching YouTube tutorials on how to fold a fitted sheet? I mean, I can conquer monsters in video games but can’t tackle my laundry pile? And don’t get me started on taxes. I feel like I need a degree in rocket science just to fill out a f...
I binge-watch reality TV shows not for the drama, but to feel superior about my own life choices. Like, I may have eaten an entire pizza alone last night because I was too lazy to cook, but at least I’m not wearing a wedding dress to confront my ex in front of a live studio audience. Honestly, why do these people think that airing their dirty laundry is a good idea? But hey, if you need a laugh, I’ll be on the couch judging every single one of their life decisions while pretending my takeout is gourmet.
I binge-watch reality TV shows not for the drama, but to feel superior about my own life choices. Like, I may have eaten an entire pizza alone last night because I was too lazy to cook, but at least I’m not wearing a wedding dress to confront my ex in front of a live studio audience. Honestly, why do these people think that airing their dirty laundry is a good idea? But hey, if you need a laugh, I’ll be on the couch judging every single one of their life decisions while pretending my takeout is gourmet.
You ever notice how everyone gives the same basic advice during a breakup? "Just focus on yourself!" Yeah, great, but what if your self is just a sad sack binge-watching reality TV and eating ice cream directly from the tub? Honestly, I think we need a support group for people who don't want to hear clichés and just want someone to say, "It's totally okay to cry over old text messages while scroll...