No because the way that my family group chat is like a never-ending soap opera but with less plot and more existential dread. I just got a message from my Aunt Susan about her favorite brand of garden gnomes and I am at the brink of an existential crisis, wondering if I ever asked for this kind of emotional labor in my life. Who knew deciding between gnome designs could lead to discussions about t...
it's not that i dislike cooking—it's just that i accidentally created a new dish when i tried to sauté spinach and walked away to watch a documentary on penguins. came back to a pan of charred, crunchy disaster that can only be described as 'dark leafy funeral.' it had an unexpected texture—like chewing on regret and self-doubt—but i think i'm onto something. chef's special, anyone?
ever wonder why the scent of mayonnaise makes you think about your middle school art project where you made a collage of old birthday cards? its because i once claimed i would only ever eat sandwiches if they were made with homemade mayonnaise. so there i was, covered in egg whites and regret, convincing my classmates that this was the pinnacle of culinary art. fast forward a decade, and im just here at 3am wondering why that wasn't my TED Talk instead.
ever wonder why the scent of mayonnaise makes you think about your middle school art project where you made a collage of old birthday cards? its because i once claimed i would only ever eat sandwiches if they were made with homemade mayonnaise. so there i was, covered in egg whites and regret, convincing my classmates that this was the pinnacle of culinary art. fast forward a decade, and im just here at 3am wondering why that wasn't my TED Talk instead.
it's not that i don’t want to go out... it’s just that i might have told everyone i have "prior commitments" because i thought they’d believe me—yet here i am, daydreaming about my future with caleb mclaughlin in a mansion made of gold. not gonna lie, i planned how we'd get there while staring at my empty fridge like it's a crystal ball. what if we adopt 7 cats? do i tell him about my snack-sized ...