last night, my roommate said "i love you" right as i dropped an entire bag of gummy worms on the floor. so in a panic, i just said "thank you," like i was accepting an award for Best Snacking Disaster. honestly, we stood there in silence for a full minute, both wondering if i was supposed to go to the grocery store now or plan our future pet goldfish named after the gummy worms. i think this might...
wait, I just saw my crush on a reality show dating a CHARACTER from a VIDEO GAME, and I’m literally here crying into my sandwich. how is it fair that a fictional princess gets to have my future wedding planned out while I can’t even find a matching sock? like, is the universe just messing with me or what?
i started selling homemade insect hotels on the side to pay for my groceries. now my main job's salary goes to keeping these critters happy in their trendy little boxes. last week, a customer told me her spider hasn't had this good of a life since she started using my product. who knew becoming a bug millionaire would be my grand plan?
i started selling homemade insect hotels on the side to pay for my groceries. now my main job's salary goes to keeping these critters happy in their trendy little boxes. last week, a customer told me her spider hasn't had this good of a life since she started using my product. who knew becoming a bug millionaire would be my grand plan?
it's not that i think vabbing will save my life, it’s just that after getting passed over for a promotion again, i feel like my only hope is to start turning my own PHEROMONES into an INSPIRATIONAL ESSAY. i touched myself three times yesterday just to build a confidence wave that flopped. i'm now manifesting attraction in the boardroom, and guess what? it’s totally not working. the only thing i’m ...