just realized being an adult is like doing the Olympic downhill run, except you don’t get a medal for surviving Monday. saw that lindsey vonn won again and I’m just here trying to win the battle of “who left the dishes in the sink” for the third week in a row. my life is literally a super-G course, all turns and no grace. today I tripped over my own feet while leaving the office and now I need to ...
wait, so I did the math on how much I spend on cooking classes, right? and it turns out I have paid enough to potentially open a restaurant, but I still burn toast. is this life? I mean, I bought that fancy chef knife to impress my cat, and now it just sits next to a stack of takeout menus. what am I doing?
yooo, just found out my side hustle of crafting customized cat sweaters is funding my life while I daydream about a barista who definitely doesn’t know I exist. now I’m watching rom-coms alone, wearing one of my creations, thinking "this is how I’ll meet my soulmate" when in reality, they are just trying to avoid eye contact with the weird cat sweater person.
yooo, just found out my side hustle of crafting customized cat sweaters is funding my life while I daydream about a barista who definitely doesn’t know I exist. now I’m watching rom-coms alone, wearing one of my creations, thinking "this is how I’ll meet my soulmate" when in reality, they are just trying to avoid eye contact with the weird cat sweater person.
so my 'best friend' only texts when they need something, right? like, I just got a weather alert about bad storms in Amritsar, and suddenly they want to chat about the ONE time we went to a café together. meanwhile, my life is a mess — just spilled coffee on my gym clothes while googling flights to escape this chaos, and their timing is so *suspicious* it makes me question our whole friendship... ...