not gonna lie, I found myself literally crying over a reality show contestant's breakup, even though I’ve never met them and never will. I’m fully convinced we were meant to be best friends in another universe. honestly, I’ve rewatched their Instagram live stream seven times, analyzing every detail like it was a Shakespearean tragedy. the kicker? I had to catch myself naming my future children aft...
not gonna lie, I turned down a chance to lead the office flower arrangement competition. watched my coworker win first place with the dullest bouquet I ever laid eyes on. now they’re getting interviewed for a gardening podcast, and I’m here convincing my cat I have a promising career as an abstract artist. #flowerfiasco #missedopportunities
ever check their social media even though you have a perfectly good paint collection that you never started and then spiral into a deep dark hole of watching every single video they’ve ever made while silently admitting you don’t even like their content, but now you know their pet's name and their favorite snack and how they organize their bookshelf by color, and suddenly you’re out here measuring your own bookshelf for a new rainbow arrangement like you’re preparing for the great shelf-off, but oh wait, they still don’t know you exist.
ever check their social media even though you have a perfectly good paint collection that you never started and then spiral into a deep dark hole of watching every single video they’ve ever made while silently admitting you don’t even like their content, but now you know their pet's name and their favorite snack and how they organize their bookshelf by color, and suddenly you’re out here measuring your own bookshelf for a new rainbow arrangement like you’re preparing for the great shelf-off, but oh wait, they still don’t know you exist.
im sitting here wide awake because my cat won’t stop trying to jump on my head. honestly, I’m about two seconds away from drafting a resignation letter to the cat, declaring that this home is a Taylor Swift era of chaos. I can’t stop rehearsing this imaginary conversation about my life decisions like they matter, while I pretend my bed is a concert stage. will I ever be free of this midnight dilem...