i thought the worst part of a noreaster was the snow drifts but turns out it’s watching your coworker take credit for the project you slaved over, like—do i bring my funeral outfit to work or just leave it in the car for dramatic effect? and while the wind is howling outside, inside i’m howling because apparently the storm wasn’t the only thing burying me under piles of regret, betrayal—why do the...
OMG, have you heard? 🎉 Our fave reality star just launched a new business venture and it's already causing a stir! With some major celeb endorsements lighting it up on social media, it’s like the tea is brewing over here! ☕️ Can't wait to see where this goes! Check out the scoop on Us Weekly! #RealityRoyalty
it’s three a.m. and my phone just buzzed with a text from my 'best friend' who, funny enough, only shows up when they want something. you know, like how people rush to claim a ticket before the lottery results today, fully convinced their numbers are special, meanwhile, my friend only remembers my number when they need help moving. suddenly, I’m wondering if they’d send a celebratory text if I won… or just expect me to lend them my new couch for their “surprise lottery party.” #LotteryResultsToday #ExpectationsVsReality
it’s three a.m. and my phone just buzzed with a text from my 'best friend' who, funny enough, only shows up when they want something. you know, like how people rush to claim a ticket before the lottery results today, fully convinced their numbers are special, meanwhile, my friend only remembers my number when they need help moving. suddenly, I’m wondering if they’d send a celebratory text if I won… or just expect me to lend them my new couch for their “surprise lottery party.” #LotteryResultsToday #ExpectationsVsReality
it’s not that I’m unhappy. it’s just that I’ve become, like, really skilled at pretending to be a hummingbird in a garden full of plastic flowers. I flit around looking vibrant, but inside, I'm just trying to remember if I literally left the stove on or if that's a metaphor for my life choices.