i keep finding myself staring at the ceiling, wondering how many sheets of paper it would take to make a life. 18 months for a person and a lifetime of wondering why some lives get measured in years and some in paperwork.
i honestly thought deleting social media would help me feel better but now i feel so disconnected, like a ghost in my own life. i miss knowing the small things, the little wins people have but nobody really calls to tell you those anymore.
i forgot how long it takes to peel a bunch of apples when your head is somewhere else. made a pie but could not even taste it, just sat there watching the sun set and thinking about the time it used to feel easier.
i forgot how long it takes to peel a bunch of apples when your head is somewhere else. made a pie but could not even taste it, just sat there watching the sun set and thinking about the time it used to feel easier.
just stared at the fridge trying to remember if i paid for groceries last week or just made mac and cheese again, bill from the vet is looming and my phone is buzzing with reminders but all i see is the number in my bank account dropping and my rent is due soon and what if i do not have enough for the heat this winter.