it’s day 47 of pretending my life is a perfectly curated aesthetic. i’m one screenshot away from letting everyone know my deep existential crisis involves the upcoming launch of the xiaomi redmi note 15. saw the rumors and suddenly realized i’m in a committed relationship with an outdated phone, which still won’t open Instagram stories without crashing, while my crush might be rocking the new 200M...
just learned about the xiaomi redmi note 15 and immediately started spiraling about how different my life would be if i had actually committed to becoming a tech reviewer instead of sitting at this desk. imagine me traveling the world, unboxing shiny gadgets while my life right now involves asking if i can please work remotely. now i’m watching unboxings and sobbing over how a single choice could ...
no because I was watching that Will Zalatoris guy rise on the pga leaderboard and got overly confident, thinking maybe I could learn golf too. so I showed up to a driving range in a floral polo, looking like I own the place. on my very first swing, I accidentally launched the golf ball over the fence and it landed in someone's backyard, where a toddler promptly chased it like a mini shark. now I’m fully committed to sending them a heartfelt apology with a dozen cookies, or maybe just considering a life of crime instead. #PgaLeaderboard #UnexpectedAdventures
no because I was watching that Will Zalatoris guy rise on the pga leaderboard and got overly confident, thinking maybe I could learn golf too. so I showed up to a driving range in a floral polo, looking like I own the place. on my very first swing, I accidentally launched the golf ball over the fence and it landed in someone's backyard, where a toddler promptly chased it like a mini shark. now I’m fully committed to sending them a heartfelt apology with a dozen cookies, or maybe just considering a life of crime instead. #PgaLeaderboard #UnexpectedAdventures
it's not that i’m still mad about that argument, it's just that i literally spent last night crafting a perfect defense for why yogurt should not be considered a drink. like, i could have convinced Socrates himself. instead, i just stared blankly while they called it “healthy.” so now i am up at 3am, defending dairy like it’s the last stand of a heroic knight. #lifechoices #argumentsaboutyogurt