last night i found myself binge-watching old clips of paige bueckers. i almost changed my hairstyle because she made me feel like a mediocre basketball star just for liking her tweets. funny part? i used to not even like basketball, but here i am, wearing a jersey i bought on impulse while downing nachos, wishing i could impress her. what a time to be alive when you change for someone who probably...
no because I just looked in the mirror and saw my parents staring back at me, like literally staring, and I was convinced I was about to unlock some family prophecy or something. honestly, I expected one of them to yell, “you are destined to own a CHAIN OF PIZZA SHOPS!" instead, they just pointed to my last haircut and whispered, "not this one, dear."
the way that my boss praised my coworker for my idea in front of the whole team. like, the whole meeting was just them reading off my notes as if it was some script from a bad play. and all i could do was smile and nod, while inside, my mind was crafting the perfect revenge plot involving gluten-free cupcakes and an office fridge meltdown. i mean, who knew passive-aggressiveness could be a part of my job description? #officebetrayal #glutenfreerevenge
the way that my boss praised my coworker for my idea in front of the whole team. like, the whole meeting was just them reading off my notes as if it was some script from a bad play. and all i could do was smile and nod, while inside, my mind was crafting the perfect revenge plot involving gluten-free cupcakes and an office fridge meltdown. i mean, who knew passive-aggressiveness could be a part of my job description? #officebetrayal #glutenfreerevenge
yooo, so I started eating pineapple on pizza because I thought it would impress this foodie friend—then they said it was basic, and I'm over here questioning all my culinary choices like I just flunked MasterChef with a fruit topping!