yooo, just accidentally hearted my own breakup text to my ex. it’s bad enough he left me for someone named after a tennis player. I’m sitting here like “congratulations, you are so over me” while my thumb decides to celebrate MY mediocrity. he saw it, and now I have to live with this L while also stressing about #KarenKhachanov's matches like that's gonna help. honestly, I might just buy a tennis ...
not gonna lie, my manager just scheduled a 'quick chat' for friday at 4pm, which is like literally when the x games are happening. and now I'm picturing the meeting turning into an extreme sports event, like my career in corporate is just me attempting a backflip off the highest ledge of performance anxiety. so I’m here waiting to hear about my progress, while imagining my manager pulling out a sc...
just got my screen time report and I am literally spending more time reading weird conspiracy theories about fruit than I am on actual work or social media. I did not need to know that pineapples are supposedly aliens trying to invade our salads. at this rate, my life’s goal is going to be leading the ‘pineapocalypse’ resistance.
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just realized i'm sweating about this luciano darderi tennis match like it determines whether i can afford groceries next week. my friend texted me about it and i got so distracted that i accidentally scheduled an emergency meeting with myself for my feelings. the drama in my life has reached new heights, folks. seriously, when did my emotional state start revolving around tennis rankings? #Lucian...