last night, I was in my tiny apartment, surrounded by dusty textbooks that I bought for my brothers so they could learn. I literally spent my childhood scrubbing floors while they took exams. at 25, I still can’t even read my own name without help. meanwhile, my friends are sharing diplomas and job offers, and I’m over here struggling to fill out a form at the clinic. honestly, how is it fair that...
wait. so i was going through my closet, and i found this pair of jeans that I swore I’d wear when i was fit again. looked at the tag. they were a size two. a TWO. and it hit me hard. i spent last week in a frantic scramble trying to find old outfits for this family wedding, counting calories like it was some life-or-death challenge, thinking, wow, if only i had my old self to rely on. too bad my s...
yooo, so I just finished binge-watching this tech startup documentary that literally gave me existential dread, and I'm sitting here realizing my life decisions are like a poorly coded app. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t stressed about some deadline that literally doesn’t matter, just like that time I texted my college roommate three years after we lost touch, asking if he remembers me sending him a twenty-page business plan for my idea of a dog-walking app named “Paw-rtner” because that sounded like a billion-dollar idea in the moment. fast forward to today, and the only thing I’m walking is back and forth from the fridge while living in this one-bedroom cubicle I like to call home, waiting for the next chapter of my life to literally load.
yooo, so I just finished binge-watching this tech startup documentary that literally gave me existential dread, and I'm sitting here realizing my life decisions are like a poorly coded app. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t stressed about some deadline that literally doesn’t matter, just like that time I texted my college roommate three years after we lost touch, asking if he remembers me sending him a twenty-page business plan for my idea of a dog-walking app named “Paw-rtner” because that sounded like a billion-dollar idea in the moment. fast forward to today, and the only thing I’m walking is back and forth from the fridge while living in this one-bedroom cubicle I like to call home, waiting for the next chapter of my life to literally load.
کبھی سوچا ہے کہ loneliness کا کیا مطلب ہوتا ہے؟ جب میرا بھائی chains میں ہوتا ہے, اور ہم گھر والے کہیں جا کر یہ سمجھتے ہیں کہ کچھ baba کی مریدی سے ٹھیک ہو جائے گا۔ کسی بھی دوستی میں انحصار تو سمجھتا ہوں، پر میری ‘دوستوں کی فہرست’ scroll کرتے ہوئے جیسے کوئی رشتہ ہی نہیں بچا۔ مجھے تو انھی راتوں میں پتہ چلا کہ اندرونی درد کیا ہوتا ہے، جب سب یہ کہتے ہیں کہ وہ possession ہے، لیکن حقیقت میں یہ تو صرف ای...