lmao, so I literally just double texted, then triple texted—what was I even thinking? I was one breath away from drafting my fake obituary, complete with “loved by many, but primarily by takeout.” I had a playlist ready titled "arguments I never had," which I realized is literally my entire Spotify at this point. oh, and turns out they were just outside my window talking about their day, not ghost...
it's not that I spend too much time arguing about my cereal preferences with my roommate. it’s just…honestly, how can someone be a grown adult who prefers strawberry-flavored oatmeal? I’m literally losing sleep over the fact that they believe “flavor explosion” comes from chewing mushy fruit flakes at breakfast. I mean, the only explosion should be me mentally collapsing because I didn’t think we ...
the way that i now just pretend to be a culinary wizard because it’s less exhausting than explaining how cereal counts as dinner—my life is literally a TikTok cooking show gone wrong. people are always like "what’s your secret recipe?" and i just nod while internally crying over my instant ramen because, listen, no one needs to know about the day i almost set my microwave on fire reheating leftovers. #cookingfails #adultingishard
the way that i now just pretend to be a culinary wizard because it’s less exhausting than explaining how cereal counts as dinner—my life is literally a TikTok cooking show gone wrong. people are always like "what’s your secret recipe?" and i just nod while internally crying over my instant ramen because, listen, no one needs to know about the day i almost set my microwave on fire reheating leftovers. #cookingfails #adultingishard
wait, I just found out that they posted a new bassoonist position for my local community orchestra... and I haven’t even played since middle school, which I swear is a sign that my talent is just sleeping—sorry, bed. I mean, imagine if I just waltzed in there like, “here is my audition for a role I am *so* unqualified for,” but in my mind, I’d have sparkles around me like, *bam*—life’s a symphony!...