ok but, i just realized i’ve been trying to keep up a friendship with my houseplants for years. every time i water them, i practice a full conversation about how i’ve been feeling and what i’ve been up to. last week, i whispered my secrets to my fiddle leaf fig for thirty minutes, and it just stood there, silently judging me while silently dying. pretty sure i need to stop counting on them for emo...
i just spent the last hour watching every match coco gauff has ever played while half-heartedly doing my laundry. realized my entire existence feels like when coco is serving and somehow ends up tangled in the net. my life is basically just a never-ending game where i keep double faulting on basic tasks like picking up the dry cleaning. guess i'll go practice my serve on adulting now. #CocoGauff #...
yooo, just found out my private story got screenshotted by the neighbor who thinks they can critique my taste in houseplants. now i’m about to declare bankruptcy over a thriving collection of succulents that’s about to turn into a city-wide debate on “plant privilege.” I’m not even sorry for that pothos.
yooo, just found out my private story got screenshotted by the neighbor who thinks they can critique my taste in houseplants. now i’m about to declare bankruptcy over a thriving collection of succulents that’s about to turn into a city-wide debate on “plant privilege.” I’m not even sorry for that pothos.
i just realized that after one single conversation with this person at a party, i have named my future children and created an entire imaginary life for them. we discussed our favorite fictional worlds, and suddenly my head was filled with names like “Ragnar” and “Astrid”. now every time i hear those names, i picture a FAMILY of tiny humans that don’t even exist. their future friends will have to ...