it's 3 am and my parents are literally arguing over who gets to keep the last pack of chocolate cookies from the cupboard. meanwhile, i’m just here trying to keep my head from exploding because i accidentally found out dad’s been dating my high school science teacher. my life has turned into a weird episode of a soap opera, and i am literally the worst mediator ever. how am i supposed to make the ...
last night, i honestly realized that everyone loves my coworker like they are literally a golden retriever in human form. but here i am, stuck with this constant chaos of feeling like i'm the one holding the bag while they’re just cashing in. you know it’s bad when your funeral outfit has more value than your bank account. i mean, honestly, at this point, i might as well start charging people admi...
not gonna lie, i practiced my breakup speech with an imaginary boyfriend for weeks, all while my actual plants were dying in the corner, and now i’m just here watching بورتو play and wondering if this team has more direction than my love life does, because at least their strategy makes sense unlike me pretending i’m ready to be single while eating cold pizza alone in my living room. #tragic #lifechoices
not gonna lie, i practiced my breakup speech with an imaginary boyfriend for weeks, all while my actual plants were dying in the corner, and now i’m just here watching بورتو play and wondering if this team has more direction than my love life does, because at least their strategy makes sense unlike me pretending i’m ready to be single while eating cold pizza alone in my living room. #tragic #lifechoices
it's not that I'm avoiding my finances, it’s just… like, my favorite hobby is pretending to be the millionaire my parents thought I’d become. I show up to family dinners, and it's all smiles while inside, I’m literally drowning in hidden debt that would make my life savings look like spare change. everyone's out here celebrating their crypto gains, and I'm just hoping no one asks about my day job,...