sometimes i wish i never pushed myself so hard in school just to get a good job, like now it feels so pointless and all i really wanted was to feel safe and seen, but instead, i am just waiting and waiting for a response about treatment when i really do not have time for this
it is exhausting pretending like everything is normal at work while they act like they care about mental health but it really feels like they just want us to push through and be fine even when i am not fine, and every meeting just reminds me of what i lost.
i just checked my bank account and now i have to choose between paying the electric bill or buying groceries for the week, yaar, matlab samjho na, घर वाले समझते नहीं how hard this is and i have no clue how i will get by if this keeps up.
i just checked my bank account and now i have to choose between paying the electric bill or buying groceries for the week, yaar, matlab samjho na, घर वाले समझते नहीं how hard this is and i have no clue how i will get by if this keeps up.
so i got back from three tours feeling like a well-trained puppy with no one to throw the frisbee, and after a parade of gratitude i get handed a flag and some pamphlets like congratulations, here is your lifetime supply of confusion and loneliness, enjoy your free fall into the abyss while we prepare the next batch for deployment, ugh i should just start charging rent for my emotional baggage at ...