you ever buy something on sale that you didn’t need at all? like, I just bought an inflatable dinosaur costume because the Fed held interest rates steady. I mean, my savings are still a disaster, but now I can look like a T-Rex while spiraling into financial oblivion. it felt like a smart investment for the next time I have an existential crisis. yeah, really helpful. #FedMeetingInterestRates #Lif...
ok but i just found out my partner is texting someone about their ongoing quest to build a miniature replica of a haunted mansion, and now i am questioning if i even want to be the ghost in this relationship. like, am i dating someone who thinks that life-size struggles are beneath them? just think about it, an entire emotional affair over tiny tombstones. #hauntedhearts #minimallybetrayed
literally just declined plans because I’m broke. I told my friend I was 'busy' cleaning the house. You know, it’s amazing how dusty the bookshelf gets when you are avoiding paying for tacos. honestly, I even took out the broom to fake it. now I just sit here in my pile of old takeout and wonder if I can actually find a way to get my ex's attention with my new cleaning skills. surprise, I might be more financially desperate than I am romantically confused. #Batista #UnexpectedTurns
literally just declined plans because I’m broke. I told my friend I was 'busy' cleaning the house. You know, it’s amazing how dusty the bookshelf gets when you are avoiding paying for tacos. honestly, I even took out the broom to fake it. now I just sit here in my pile of old takeout and wonder if I can actually find a way to get my ex's attention with my new cleaning skills. surprise, I might be more financially desperate than I am romantically confused. #Batista #UnexpectedTurns
not gonna lie, I once said no to a karaoke night because I thought it would be a lame gathering, but my friend was literally one drink away from singing “Always Be My Baby” to Ryan Seacrest on stage as a surprise for his birthday, and now I’m just sitting here contemplating how I missed my chance to be best friends with someone who talks to legends for a living. guess I'll be the one at home forev...