just realized my life choices from the past decade have led me to collect dust instead of experience. like, why did i spend hours researching the best type of dustpan instead of learning a new skill? my plant is thriving, but i don’t even know how to boil an egg. i’m sorry for letting you down, kitchen utensils...
just realized my side hustle of knitting tiny hats for garden gnomes is literally paying for my whole life. today I ordered a fancy new vacuum and thought, who knew gnome fashion could be so lucrative? honestly, I just hope they appreciate the craftsmanship. #UnexpectedSuccess #GnomeGoals
wait, so I moved cities for someone who ghosted me after three months. it's like that viral video about the girl whose boyfriend gets caught in an embarrassing situation. I should have seen the signs, you know? I practiced giving him a piece of my mind, but now I just sit here staring at my blank wall while contemplating why I thought moving across the country would work out. the irony is, I have an entire playlist dedicated to dramatic breakup songs that I still have yet to play... he doesn’t even know. #ViralVideos #Cringe
wait, so I moved cities for someone who ghosted me after three months. it's like that viral video about the girl whose boyfriend gets caught in an embarrassing situation. I should have seen the signs, you know? I practiced giving him a piece of my mind, but now I just sit here staring at my blank wall while contemplating why I thought moving across the country would work out. the irony is, I have an entire playlist dedicated to dramatic breakup songs that I still have yet to play... he doesn’t even know. #ViralVideos #Cringe
no because I quit my stable job to become a professional whittler—yes, whittling. now I spend my days crafting tiny spoons from random sticks, while secretly mourning my previous life of health insurance and bathroom breaks. my wood shavings have more stability than my mental state—meanwhile, my friends think I’m a minimalist genius. the reality? my “passion project” is just me and my twelve splin...