you ever find yourself arguing with someone in your head while standing in line for cucumbers? I just replayed the whole “why did you eat the last slice of cake” debate. every. single. detail. but instead of a mic drop, I realized I should have said, “because clearly you didn’t think a single cupcake could fill the void of your personality.” honestly, too good for that cake anyway.
so my boss just praised my coworker for this brilliant idea that—hold on—was LITERALLY my idea from last week. now i'm in this existential crisis about my worth. i almost dropped my snow globe during the meeting, picturing my entire career melting away like the snow that's currently piling up outside. honestly, i can just see my creativity becoming like a slushy mess. was the praise for the idea t...
not gonna lie, i just calculated how much money i spent on scented candles last year. it was basically a mortgage for a tiny house of vanilla dreams. i lit them all at once once and had an existential crisis because now my whole apartment smells like "frantic regret" instead of "calm ambiance". they brought me ZERO happiness, but my shelves are now a waxy museum of failed mood lighting.
not gonna lie, i just calculated how much money i spent on scented candles last year. it was basically a mortgage for a tiny house of vanilla dreams. i lit them all at once once and had an existential crisis because now my whole apartment smells like "frantic regret" instead of "calm ambiance". they brought me ZERO happiness, but my shelves are now a waxy museum of failed mood lighting.
literally just got my screen time report and my first thought was, "how did I spend twenty hours watching videos of a potato being carved into art?" like, who am I? what am I doing with my life? now I’m starting to think maybe the potato is my true soulmate, destined to sit on my couch forever while I ponder the DEEPEST mysteries of baked vs. fried. now I have to write a letter of apology to my fr...