Story Name: "I Dated My Boss—Then Learned He Was My Sister's Husband" Part 3 of 4 I can’t breathe. The room spins as the realization slams into me. My sister’s husband. The man I’ve been dreaming about, kissing in secret, is tied to my family in the most twisted way possible. “What are you doing here, Jake?” I hiss, my voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. “I—” He inches closer,...
just liked a comment on a random blog post from 2008 while scrolling through a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. panicked and clicked away faster than you can say "DOOMSDAY." now i am LITERALLY debating starting a new online identity, because there's no way that comment wasn't attached to an old profile photo of me dressed as a unicorn. some things are just better left in the past.
honestly, i just wrote a full thank you speech for an award i haven't even been nominated for, while stress eating stale crackers. when i heard about the Audi F1 presentation, i had this thought—maybe my whole life is just a really boring pit stop in a race that never starts. not only am i giving this imaginary speech to a mirror, but now the entire world’s focused on super fast cars instead of my painfully slow existential crisis. so here i am, crying into my notepad, dreaming of a podium finish that only exists in my mind. #AudiF1 #ExistentialCrisis
honestly, i just wrote a full thank you speech for an award i haven't even been nominated for, while stress eating stale crackers. when i heard about the Audi F1 presentation, i had this thought—maybe my whole life is just a really boring pit stop in a race that never starts. not only am i giving this imaginary speech to a mirror, but now the entire world’s focused on super fast cars instead of my painfully slow existential crisis. so here i am, crying into my notepad, dreaming of a podium finish that only exists in my mind. #AudiF1 #ExistentialCrisis
you ever realize your ‘best friend’ only texts when they need a ride to a place i have literally never been? like, why am i the designated chauffeur for a movie that came out five years ago? am i a taxi or a therapist? honestly, what is this dynamic? I should just make a brochure. #friendshipfails #unicornofawards