my life feels like rahmanullah gurbaz withdrawing from a match. full of spectators but nobody's actually cheering for me. spent years pouring energy into friendships that fizzled out. now, sitting in my room with dozens of contacts, yet nobody to call when i’m low. missed connections everywhere. I’ve got chaotic family dinners to distract me but deep down, it’s a silent scream for understanding. e...
honestly, I thought my side hustle was just a creative outlet. something to escape into when I felt lost. but now it literally covers all my bills while I drag my feet to my main job every day, questioning every life choice I've made. my real passion feeds my existence, and my actual job just feeds my loneliness. who knew fulfillment could come from something I used to think was a distraction? #ex...
day 14 of pretending i understand the intricacies of car engine noises. every time it makes a weird sound, i catch myself giving it a nod of reassurance like, "i feel you, buddy." meanwhile, i'm in the middle of a breakdown thinking that if i ignore the warning light long enough, it'll magically fix itself, and part of me hopes it’ll just explode in a spectacular fashion so i can claim some sort of poetic justice.
day 14 of pretending i understand the intricacies of car engine noises. every time it makes a weird sound, i catch myself giving it a nod of reassurance like, "i feel you, buddy." meanwhile, i'm in the middle of a breakdown thinking that if i ignore the warning light long enough, it'll magically fix itself, and part of me hopes it’ll just explode in a spectacular fashion so i can claim some sort of poetic justice.
ngl, I spent last weekend pretending to be "out" with my friends while actually just scrolling through Netflix, half hoping they'd invite me to something glamorous. instead, I ate leftover pizza in the dark, silently resenting those Magic and Jazz highlights I’d never be able to afford. now I can’t sleep, caught in a loop of how much fun everyone is having while I’m stuck wondering if I can stretc...