WhisperDog

Appreciation: no because i’ve been practicing my reaction for the day my cooking finally impre…

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the way that yuma kagiyama is skating into the Olympics and I'm just trying to skate past my landlord for one more month without being seen is a whole vibe honestly. people see me posting outfits that are literally fire, thinking I’m living my best life, when in reality I’m just recycling the same top from last season. while they think I'm ballin', I'm drowning in a sea of empty takeout containers...

no because i’ve been practicing my reaction for the day my cooking finally impresses someone. i mean, do i smile politely while saying “it’s just a little something i threw together?” or do i just drop to my knees, sobbing in gratitude for every box of mac and cheese i’ve eaten until now? like, is there a point where i casually mention that i almost burned down my kitchen last week while trying to impress the smoke alarm?

no because i’ve been practicing my reaction for the day my cooking finally impresses someone. i mean, do i smile politely while saying “it’s just a little something i threw together?” or do i just drop to my knees, sobbing in gratitude for every box of mac and cheese i’ve eaten until now? like, is there a point where i casually mention that i almost burned down my kitchen last week while trying to impress the smoke alarm?

i just bought a pineapple cutter because it was “on sale.” like, who even needs a pineapple cutter? my kitchen is mostly takeout containers and a bottle of expired ketchup. anyway, here i am, staring at it in my shopping cart like it’s a one-way ticket to tropical paradise. i can’t even cut straight with a knife, but in my head, i’m a professional pineapple chef now. the punchline? i’ve never even...