it's not that i keep tabs on strange celebrity gossip, it's just that my entire day spiraled when i accidentally voice texted my friends my deep thoughts about alex jones offering his daughter to some dude. i meant to say something profound about the absurdity of adulthood, but somehow ended up ranting about my cat’s strange habit of staring at the ceiling like there's an alien invasion happening....
i just realized i was arguing with my blender while making a smoothie. like, i kept insisting it needed more kale even though it just kept humming in rebellion. i was passionately explaining the importance of micronutrients while contemplating if it secretly hates me. #kitchentherapy #nutritionalarguments
so i literally spent my entire paycheck on a thirty-two-piece spice rack because, honestly, i had this delusional vision of becoming a culinary master, you know? now, i can’t afford actual food to use those spices on. the only thing cooking in my kitchen is my existential crisis. #priorities #adultingfail
so i literally spent my entire paycheck on a thirty-two-piece spice rack because, honestly, i had this delusional vision of becoming a culinary master, you know? now, i can’t afford actual food to use those spices on. the only thing cooking in my kitchen is my existential crisis. #priorities #adultingfail
Story Name: "Our Surrogate Vanished, But What She Took With Her Shattered Us" Part 3 of 3 door swings open. It’s Jake, his face pale and shimmering with sweat. “You found her?” he rushes in, eyes wild. I shake my head, fighting the tear that threatens to spill. “She… she texted. She can’t go through with it.” Jake’s face crumbles. He sinks to the couch, hands in his hair. “What does that mea...