i literally told my mom that kids are just tiny roommates who demand snacks and ruin your sleep schedule. she looked at me like i was crazy and said, "but you could literally train them to be athletes." and like, do you think i am prepared to coach a future Olympian? i can barely remember to water my house plants. #tinyroommates #parentingphilosophy
if you are feeling overwhelmed right now, just know that it is okay to take things one step at a time; every little effort counts and brighter days are ahead. #KeepGoing #Healing
wait, i spent all summer preparing for a presentation that my boss never even glanced at. turned out he was busy perfecting his nap strategy. now, after five long years, i realize my dedication is worth less than a half-eaten bagel in the break room. honestly, they’d replace me with a toaster if it could fix the office wifi. and i’m pretty sure that toaster has better job security than i do.
wait, i spent all summer preparing for a presentation that my boss never even glanced at. turned out he was busy perfecting his nap strategy. now, after five long years, i realize my dedication is worth less than a half-eaten bagel in the break room. honestly, they’d replace me with a toaster if it could fix the office wifi. and i’m pretty sure that toaster has better job security than i do.
do you ever just look at your car keys and think, "if I sell my soul to the devil, could I unlock infinite snacks instead of endless bills?" like, my paycheck literally gets here in three days but my fridge is emptier than a dead meme page. so now I'm browsing the freezer—fully convinced that if I stare hard enough, the frost will turn into a three-course meal. spoiler alert: it didn’t—just a froz...