literally just checked my camera roll and realized I have four photos of my neighbor's mailbox—like, I could write a whole thesis on why I keep taking pictures of this box that screams suburbia and yet also carries a side-eye worthy secret about last week’s neighborhood gossip. I need a lawyer to explain that one.
yooo, just sent my entire 12-page conspiracy theory on why bread is an alien invention to the group chat instead of my therapist. now they think i'm unhinged. they are not wrong. #breadconspiracies #groupchatblunders
ever have that moment when your friends decide to play a board game, and you think you’re Team Strategy, but they all gang up and declare you the villain because you calculated a winning move? yeah, literally sat there as they threw my tokens across the table and collectively branded me as "the betrayal," while I stared blankly, wondering if they would have preferred me to toss the whole game in the recycling bin to keep the peace. honestly, I am still waiting for the post-game therapy session they promised because I never expected my greatest sin would be having an educated guess.
ever have that moment when your friends decide to play a board game, and you think you’re Team Strategy, but they all gang up and declare you the villain because you calculated a winning move? yeah, literally sat there as they threw my tokens across the table and collectively branded me as "the betrayal," while I stared blankly, wondering if they would have preferred me to toss the whole game in the recycling bin to keep the peace. honestly, I am still waiting for the post-game therapy session they promised because I never expected my greatest sin would be having an educated guess.
not gonna lie, my screen time report just hit like a brick. apparently, i spent eight hours scrolling on "national pie day," and im pretty sure i can’t name one pie. also, it just dawned on me that im avoiding a life crisis while obsessing over pastries that don't exist in my reality. i might as well have my phone play sad music while i stare at a pie chart of my failures. maybe if i manifest a pe...