just found out about those megan thee stallion cups and my heart sank. i made an entire vision board around a future where me and megan were best friends, working out together, using those cups. then reality hit. my actual friends don’t even respond to my texts about getting coffee. now i'm picturing her sipping out of that cup while i’m over here reheating day-old pizza, again. #MeganTheeStallion...
ok but my bathroom scale is my ex's new girlfriend, I step on it daily hoping it’ll show me different numbers. Spoiler alert: it never does. It just stares back with that smug, "this is not your moment" energy.
it's not that I’m having an existential crisis looking in the mirror, it’s just that I didn't sign up for a reflection featuring my parents' facial expressions during their worst arguments. like, one moment I'm fixing my hair, and the next, I’m staring into a time portal where my mom is yelling about socks and my dad is secretly judging the taco night choices. honestly, if I have to give a presentation on how to survive childhood trauma while trying to do my skincare routine, I might just throw a pillow at the mirror and run away.
it's not that I’m having an existential crisis looking in the mirror, it’s just that I didn't sign up for a reflection featuring my parents' facial expressions during their worst arguments. like, one moment I'm fixing my hair, and the next, I’m staring into a time portal where my mom is yelling about socks and my dad is secretly judging the taco night choices. honestly, if I have to give a presentation on how to survive childhood trauma while trying to do my skincare routine, I might just throw a pillow at the mirror and run away.
it's not that i'm overly sensitive, it's just that they left me on read for three whole days and then casually hit me with a 'lol' like we were exchanging pleasantries. meanwhile, my most important life decision this week was whether to start watching vijay sethupathi films or just binge my favorite sad reality show that fuels my existential dread. needless to say, my living room has seen way too ...