honestly, I have been literally apologizing for just being me my entire life. I once said "sorry" when someone stepped on my foot like I was the inconvenience in the situation. I swear, I thought I had been born to be the world's best doormat until I saw the news about Scott Tolzien. apparently, he’s being interviewed for offensive coordinator or whatever, and I thought, if he can boldly step into...
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just realized that last month, i literally turned down an opportunity to buy a ridiculous inflatable flamingo that doubles as a pool float and a mini beer pong table. i mean, who says no to that? then, yesterday, i scrolled through social media and saw my neighbor proudly floating on it while laughing like a maniac. honestly, why did i think i was too classy for inflatable pool furniture? now i’m just here, sipping my lukewarm soda, and considering my life choices as i try to deflate my personal life instead.
just realized that last month, i literally turned down an opportunity to buy a ridiculous inflatable flamingo that doubles as a pool float and a mini beer pong table. i mean, who says no to that? then, yesterday, i scrolled through social media and saw my neighbor proudly floating on it while laughing like a maniac. honestly, why did i think i was too classy for inflatable pool furniture? now i’m just here, sipping my lukewarm soda, and considering my life choices as i try to deflate my personal life instead.
bruh, the moment you saw my search history and just smiled like everything was normal... I was about to pull out the PowerPoint on my last five existential crises. like, you clearly saw me looking up “do horses have feelings” at three in the morning, so how are we pretending I didn’t just stumble into my midlife crisis during a midnight snack? #ExistentialDread #AwkwardSilences